The Hook. Freelance writing for a living, writers' tips, pitching to editors, the query and capturing the reader

Writers dash for Open Source during recession

Beware computers bearing software

Novell announced that a recent market survey, conducted by IDC and sponsored by Novell, reveals a surge in the acquisition of Linux driven by the worldwide recession. As more and more businesses seek to cut costs and find value, they are drawn to the tremendous economies that Linux offers, with more than half of the IT executives surveyed planning to accelerate Linux adoption in 2009.

Okay, so this is about enterprises choosing an operating system, but I wondered if writers were using Open Office more because of the same economic hardship.

I use Open Office on my laptop. It's very good, if a little slow at loading up when you first open a document, but I use it because of a hard disk failure a year or two ago and Microsoft refused to allow me to re-install my Word applications without paying for another licence... which is not cheap.

Apparently my Word had been on an OEM licence previously which meant it came with the PC. When the disk crashed I had no means of reinstalling it and therefore had to buy an new copy.

Needless to say, I was furious and immediately scrubbed all MS products from my machine and even moved to Linux on the desktop (a move I later regressed because of difficulties with Usb ports, so my machines do still run Windows.)

But the upshot is that you can be confident of writing your features and articles etc with Open Office, and it's free. It won't crash and burn just because you didn't pay for it.

Just remember to change the doc format to .doc before submission to editors, just in case they are still using MS Word.

Editors don't reply to submissions

You may have thought that once you were a jobbing freelance, sending finished articles to dozens of established, professional editors, you would receive an email saying "Thanks, nice job," after each submission. Well, you'd have thought wrong.

Freelancers lament that editors don't respond to queries, submissions, finished articles or even thumps on the head with mallets. No, their's is a stressful, overstretched world where the niceties of cute replies to needy freelancers are not only not required, they're a bloody nuisance.

So get used to being ignored. Such is your life, that the only way you will know if your article has been received is when you see it published or you get a reply-at-once-fact-check mobile call. You probably won't even get a free copy.

The situation prompts writers to ask if they should use the "request read receipt," facility on their emails just to make sure the submission has not been eaten up by some network-based-essential-email-filter of the kind sold by Symanfee, MCatec, Sophton, Norphos and the like (names changed to protect the innocent).

But consensus seems to be "Just say No!"

Even if tempted, do not switch on the reply receipt feature. By doing so, you will annoy your editors so much they are likely to scrub you from their freelancers list, send an email to all their editor mates saying, "never commission this writer," and post you snail-mail effigy of yourself including a box of matches and a note exclaiming "there goes your freelance career, buddy!"

Here's what a selection of the world's top freelancers said, all anonymous so I don't get beaten up for quoting without permission, and you can wonder if I didn't just make it all up:

"I get really pissed off with read receipts. I get anywhere between 100 and 200 mails a day - the last thing I want is some automated mail demanding a response on top of all the other crap."

"Hate hate hate read receipts.

"When I get an email with a read receipt, Outlook always gives me a message along the lines of "The sender has requested a read receipt, do you want to send one?" I always click "no".

It's all a great shame because in a world without "C1aLis", "Timpeeces" and "Make your w0m1n hxt hxt hxt", we'd all use read receipts as a thoroughly useful tool for the busy, conscientious freelancer. As it is we're just fending off all the crap from our email systems and read receipts seem like a throw back to days when we were relaxed enough to be polite to each other.

Deadlines keep writers productive

If on some days you find the urge to start work has been flushed from your system with the remnants of last night's meal during a post-breakfast visit to the small room, then you will understand why a deadline is vital to the freelance writer. Further, so vital is it, you should insist on all sorts of arbitrary deadlines throughout the day.

"Work expands to fill the available time" is an often quoted saying, but for freelance writers it takes on an air of mystical precognition as if Peter Cotter, and I think it's his quote, were penning it exclusively for our benefit. If an editor suggests a deadline, then you can bet the copy will be with him or her at 5 pm on deadline day or ready in the inbox the next morning.

It is with utter horror that I accept commissions from one of my editors who always ends the briefing email with "in your own time."  I know the work will expand to fill the available time, which in this case is FOREVER. These commissions take by far the longest of any work I undertake, I over-interview, over-research and over-write - which I wouldn't mind so much if it resulted in fabulous work, but, actually, I don't think my work is outstanding by any stretch. If it wasn't that the publication is very prestigious and pays relatively well it wouldn't be worth my while.

Yet I find it hard to work in any other way, than right-up-to-the-deadline. My unconcious mind is far better at working out how long it will take to write an article than I ever will be, and it knows exactly when time has run out and I should start tapping at the keyboard and listening to those taped interviews. It surprises me how much can be done when the deadline is looming and the unconcious has finally decided to stop me surfing the web, reading the Guardian or cleaning  my pencil case out. (Or just about anyting apart from writing).

So I have taken to setting arbitrary deadlines for myself around a basic 10 minutes for 100 words framework. Deadlines include,  5 mins to come up with a working headline, 2 mins for a subhead, 10 mins coffee break or 5 mins toilet visit. These stop me from getting sidetracked and taking to the web for a spot of "background reading."

Any time saved in the production of an article before the deadline can then be spent checking, improving, marketing, updating the bio-site, researching new pitches or simply enjoying an afternoon cup of tea; guiltless and stress free.

I commend this initiative.

Pitching tips from a commissioning editor

It's not often a commissioning editor helps you with the query process. Mostly it is down to trial and error hoping that what has worked in the past will continue to do so.

But recently an editor from a New Zealand tech magazine sent me the following tips for structuring a query to her publication. It makes a good framework.

• Working headline
• Why our readers need to read this right now
• Three or four main questions you intend to answer
• Types and numbers of sources you anticipate using
• Suggested length

The suggestion of a print length is, in my experience, seldom necessary. Mostly magazines articles have a set length, or will they will commission based on the space they have left after they know the idea. But, it can never hurt follow instruction, and the ed added "In print we have 600 words, 1000 to 1200, 1400 to 1600 and very occasionally 2,000 to 2200 (four).

Freelance writing from home: boredom and prevarication

I was recently asked to contribute to the Freelancers' website, www.freelanceuk.co.uk. The editor there asked me a series of questions about the trials of working from home. Was it boring? How do you keep enthusiasm shining through your writing? Why don't you just go down the pub? etc etc.

Here is my reply, and here is the full article on never going back

Google damages small writing businesses

Computers are supposed to be predictable and methodical. Given the same starting conditions, results should be identical. So just what is Google up to with its ranking algorithm?

Eight strategies to earn money from blogging

The wisdom of the crowd determines the favourite in the Derby, the most entertaining singer in X-factor and the next resident of no. 10. So what can the sentiments of bloggers teach us about making money from blogs? Presenting a selection of mould-smashing quotes on how to make money by milking the blogging cow:

Improving your query letters and pitches

The Evil Editor's blog, will give you palpitations if you're in the process of sending publishers or agents query letters. Humourously cynical, the naughty ed takes apart submitted queries and adds comments. Very, very entertaining, and also, somewhat, educational. Whether there is a real editor lurking behind the online persona is anyone's guess.

But this is the type of useful information you get:

Just tell us who we care about and why, what their problem is, and what they do about it. You should be able to do this in fewer paragraphs.

A synopsis is not imporant

The synopsis is feared like a leper at a wedding, but is its importance overrated?

At a recent writing seminar held in the stunning Devonshire surroundings of Dartington Hall, I heard something fabulous. It didn't creep into my consciousness immediately. I went home, did some more writing, edited my "The Savoy" synopsis for the 10 millionth time, and then slowly I realised how that small bit of information could change my life.

When should you give up writing?

Are six edit sweeps and two major re-writes enough to convince you to give up!

Cutting redundant words

A simple edit will tighten you manuscript and add a veneer of professionalism to your work.

What is wrong with the following sentence - apart from being a cliche?

It's a matter of fact.

Nothing? Well, it can be written as

It's a factual matter...

cutting out a word and increasing clarity. Not convinced? Here're some more examples.

Hijacking aircraft to sell books

Authors perform all sorts of unnatural acts when trying to promote their books, but how far would you go?

Crims seem to have a good deal when it comes to making their books hit the best seller list. Think Jeffrey Archer, Mr Nice, Oscar Wilde to name a few notorious characters whose books have done well because of the dubious activities they've been involved with.

I'm not American, but this seems to hit the mood:

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity.

Gaining publicity is a perpetual problem for authors, whether self-published or on traditional contracts.

"It is not very likely a publishing company will help my book get the exposure it needs to generate maximum sales.  I will be forced to do some innovating marketing to reach an audience, and then keep them for the next book, and the one after that and the next one and so on," says Rick Bylina, who is currently working on a fifty page book-marketing plan. Almost a novel in itself.

Bylina says, "The only rule: writers write!  Everything else is a guideline," and clearly means writing in it's broadest sense: to include business plans and marketing strategies.

There is general acceptance that writing is becoming more about marketing than it is about writing. We are seeing the rise of the sales-author.

"Those of us who can't, or won't, market, might as well write in our journals, because no one else besides us is going to see our writing," says Cassandra Barnes author of the paranormal romance, Jenny's Legacy.

Barnes hates cold-calling in order to sell her writing, "All the promotion is agony. I simply cannot, and will not, make cold calls all over the place," she says.

Writing is a solitary experience. Many authors like the isolation and time to be with their own thoughts, to fertilise creativity and explore ideas. Promoting, and particularly hard-selling, goes against the grain. Is the book industry really saying, "If you can't sell, you shouldn't write"?

It seems so, but the reality is, there are far more authors than willing publicists and though much good work will remain unseen, writers must deal with the world the way it is.

Hateful!

Manuscript love is a vanity you cannot afford

 Leaving your work to gather dust helps the faults shine through.

Love is blind goes the old saying, and when you're busy writing and editing a manuscript there can be no doubt you are in love. In love with your clever word choice, your sentence construction and your sneaky plotting; you love your own writing...

Well you should do. If you don't, it's doubtful you'll cook-up enough enthusiasm to make anybody else enjoy the literary meal.

But there is a nasty, evil side effect. When you love your work, you are apt to forgive it it's sins and overlook the imperfections in its smile. When it comes to writing books, Love, really is blind.

Luckily, there is a solution to the problem. Stick the manuscript in the draw and forget about it for as long as you can, before subsequent drafts. Let it gather dust, let your perspective evolve and sure enough, when you revisit you'll see all the warts and blemishes your love-struck eyes missed during the writing.

Golden nuggets keep focus tight

A brand of blurb, called a nugget statement, keeps an author's attention where it matters: on the story.

If you write thrillers and you can't distill your story into 30 words or less then you are probably doing something wrong, goes the accepted wisdom.

I'm inclined to agree. Have you ever read a blurb on the back cover that was more than a couple of paragraphs? Could the publisher countenance a blurb that continued on the inside? Of course not, it would be commercial suicide.

And so, one of the first things to put together for a new idea, is the nugget statement. A thirty word (or so) synopsis of the story giving the main character, the antagonist and the barriers that must be overcome for a successful outcome (or not).

Unlike a full synopsis, there is no need to detail all the plot twists or even the ending.

Here is a nugget statement for Predicting Timothy Jarvik

A successful Lawyer obsesses over a joke fortune-telling given during a drunken game. Terrified it may come true, he attempts to block the predictions, but his actions cause the very events he struggles to avoid. When he loses his career, his wealth and then his wife, obsession turns to desperation, and he seeks revenge on the messenger: his best friend.

The point of all this is to make sure, during the writing, that any straying from the original idea is with full knowledge of what is happening, and, when the writing is over, it serves as a book-marketing paragraph - a teaser, if you like.

Brutal honesty builds character

When cooking-up the slime and goo of your character's personality, it's a good idea to rattle your own skeletons from their cosy sleep in the cupboard.

It's grim inside my head. It has to be, otherwise I can't write about despicable murder, brutal beatings, or golden showers  - I'm not saying I partake in such activities, of course, but the possibility exists somewhere deep in my horrible brain.

Watching the news is great for adding detail to grim goings-on (and of course, the internet), but there's no better place to do your research than in the twilight zone of your own head.

This is why novelists (of both the would-be and expert types) bang-on tirelessly about "write what you know." It doesn't mean have all your characters work in the dull accountancy firm you spent the last 10 years of your life trying to escape, it means take all those difficult, embarrassing experiences and lay them bare for your readers.

Be honest - even if your mum might read it. I know I'm doing it right when I feel churned up inside and cringe at the thought of somebody I know drawing comparisons.

Yet, we all have dodgy thoughts (don't we) putting them down on paper is no crime.

Injecting tension: take lessons from Jackanory

It's not a drug you can buy from the chemist; more's the pity. But creating tension is the first rule of getting readers to keep the book open into the small hours.

Every chapter of a Dan Brown novel ends with a cliff hanger. Here are a few from Angels and Demons:

Then... she read it again.
A moment later, she was dashing in horror across the floor. 'Robert! Robert!'

...the guard spun and faced them, arms crossed and large sidearm visible on his hip.
Perfect, Langdon thought. Just bloody perfect.

Mortati was starting to fear it might be a long evening after all.
He had no idea.

This last example even breaks the hallowed Point-of-View rule that gets rammed down your throat at every writing group and in all the Internet forums: how, can Mortati know that he has "no idea?" He can't, it is the author butting in with an omen of what is to follow. It's a "No No"; naughty Mr Brown.

But what the example does show is classic story telling. It is an attempt to get the reader worried, tense and intrigued, and it works.

Now I personally think Brown overdoes his cliffhanger endings, and if he is to be believed, he puts them in only because he has a short attention span and can't think of anything else to write. ""I don't like reading off the screen. I have a very short attention span and I write short chapters for that reason," he said to the high court during the ongoing copyright case where he has been accused of plagiarising The holy blood and the holy grail.

They do get a bit wearing, particularly in Digital Fortress, and once you have read a few of his books you realise it's just an authorial device: a con.

None the less, it is interesting to see how the reader's tension level is kept high through the use of short scenes and wait-until-tomorrow chapter endings. He's very good at what he does, as the sales record shows.

Jackanory, boom boom!

 

Test your knowledge of synopsis writing

Only by testing oursleves can we be certain we know what we think we know about sysnopsis writing. Here's a fun, insulting, test to see how much you really understand.

1. How long should an ideal synopsis be?
a) What the publisher or agent asks for
b) 500 words
c) 1000 words
d) A quarter the length of the book

2. Convention suggests the first mention of a main character be...
a) In colour
b) In italics
c) In CAPITALS
d) After the opening paragraph

3. A synopsis must never
a) Keep the ending secret
b) Leave the reader guessing
c) Leave out critical characters
d) Be written in the first person
e) All of the above

4. Agents never need a synopsis
True
False

5. Which genre does not require a synopsis
a) Crime
b) Romance
c) Horror
d) Science Fiction
e) None of the above

6. Which is the correct form?
a) Tom was late...
b) Tom is late...
c) Tom will be late...
d) None of the above

7. A synopsis should start...
a) at the beginning.
b) after the sample chapters end.
c) 'Once upon a time.'
d) using a key.

8. A synopsis is the same as...
    a) An outline
    b) A nugget statment
    c) A blurb
    d) None of these

---

Literary agent gives advice for free

Some are good, some are crap, but the 99 commented synopses at Miss Snark, the literary agent, are nothing if not excellent. And it's not everyday you can take something for nothing from an agent.

This is the sort of information you can't buy. A collection of synopses marked up by a literary agent for every writer to take a gander at and compare with their own efforts. You can't help but come away with a host of ideas and revisions.

But don't take my word for it, go and have a look for yourself  and use the previous list to navigate.

Synopsis of A Sleeping Feast

Stories of a skinned-alive phantom haunting a village in rural Northumberland are ridiculous, even to journalist ALEX REED working for strange phenomena magazine.

But when a decayed body is uncovered by receding flood waters, rumour suggests a link with the nearby research enclosure. Alex smells scandal and a chance to prove he's more than a sensationalist hack.

Read the full synopsis here

Mechanical edit tightens manuscripts

Writers are told to edit, edit, edit as if repeating the word somehow makes a manuscript fall into shape. But knowing what to edit is a difficult skill, taking years to learn. Here is a mechanism to help focus the mind.

I don't recall where I first learnt this editing method, but it has been extraordinarily useful for my non-fiction (where word-count is king) and uncovers the essence in every woolly paragraph of my fiction.

Using a word processor - the technique is impossible using long hand - edit each paragraph so that it is one line shorter - the word processor nudges all following paragraphs up to take up the space. To achieve the result, you will remove unnecessary words and/or sentences.

It sounds stupid, at first. But I urge you to try it. It gives a mechanistic reason to kill your darlings - how I hate that phrase, but we all know what it means - delete unnecessary adverbs, and restructure complex sentences to use fewer words.

After the chapter has been edited, try the process again. You can apply it as many times as you like, by taking each paragraph and deleting words/sentences until it is one line less.

Each iteration of the process tightens the manuscript - it really does work like magic. The only danger is, after a few iterations, your enthusiasm may let you cut into the meat. It's a danger I've never encountered, though.